Promises

Promises

 

 

~I promise I would wait for a year after you finish your studies,

~I promise I would use this time to regain your trust towards me.

~I promise you

Promise is a form of commitment. Promise means a lot to people like me. Promises are something I can use to trust a person. But, promise also makes my heart break, makes me suffer.

 

I was one of the marching crew when I first saw him. He's my senior there along with 3 of his friends. He never missed practice and we often meet. But, we never talk. We just exchanged glance and we are like strangers even though we are in the same team for almost 4 months. After the competition, we seldom meet. At first, I didn't take him as someone I would treasure, someone I would actually place all my trust on him.

As a tradition, after the competition, we would have a small party to celebrate our hard work. I didn't attend that party. By the time, I wasn't the socialise type of person. I didn't talk much and I am the emotional type of person. I never thought of my absence would changes everything. Thinking back, it felt like yesterday.

I was having a badminton match and he happened to see me there. When I was sitting at the side, resting, he walked to me and started to talk to me.

"Hey, why aren't you at the party yesterday?" he asked.

I was shocked to see him talking to me. But, trying to be friendly, I answered him, "I was busy with some other stuff. Why?"

"Nah, you just missed the fun. Never mind about it. What are you doing her?"

I showed him the racquet. He smiled and said, "If you win, I'll treat you with any drink you want."

Since that day we started talking to each other. But, I couldn't recall what happen that makes us start to disturb each other. We picked on each other and his friends would laugh at us. We don't mind about it and honestly I was having fun. But, knowing him for so long, I don't know his name. I just happen to know from his friend. I don't mind as I didn't take him importantly.

After he graduated, we just managed to keep in touch thru phone. Little did I know that he started to develop feelings towards me. I rejected him as I'm in a relationship then. We remain as friends until I broke up with that guy. He confessed to me again and I rejected him again. I wasn't ready for any relationship yet. He made a promise then. After negotiating, we decide to put a year as a test for both of us. We decided to take good use of the time to prove whether he's sincere towards me and whether I really have feelings towards him.

But, after a month, I didn't hear from him anymore. He didn't reply my message and calls. I really had fallen for him. I got worried and heart broken as well. I started to wonder whether that was a prank or what. Slowly, I determine to get him off my mind. Another guy proposed to me and I instantly accepted him although I had no feelings towards me. I wanted to move on and I thought I had left that heartless guy behind. But, I was wrong. I still had faith towards him.

One night, I happened to text him. I wasn't preparing for any reply then. But, he replied me. I was so happy and started chatting with him. Then, I started to ask about the promise he made and to my surprise, he forgotten about it. My heart started to ache. He told me that he wasn't interested to any relationship and he wanted to concentrate on his studies and work. I was deeply hurt. After that incident, I did not text him anymore. I erased him from my mind. I deleted his number and hide away anything that is related to him.

When I was already half way forget everything about him, he came back. He said that he missed me and wanted me back. He apologise for everything he said to me previously. I was torn in two. What can I say? I really liked him but, I wanted to forget about him. I told him that I loose trust towards him. Again, we made a commitment. We extended our promise. He agrees and I thought it's going to work then.

After a month or maybe more, he disappears again. I can hardly contact him. Later on, I lost contact with him. I tried calling him and he happened to off his phone. I got hurt again. I'm telling myself that this was the last time I take initiative towards this heartless guy. Finally, with the help of my friends, I managed to take him out of my mind. I thought I really did, but, I never expect to see him again.

I saw him when I was gathering with my friends to go for a trip. When I turned behind, I saw him. He looked at me too but later on turned his head away. I feel mad and grabbed my friends away from there. During the whole journey, I don't know why but, I keep looking for him. I ended up, take the first move. I started to text message him. I never expect he would reply my message. He thought of meeting up with me but, it's too late. Before we stop texting, he promises me again. He promises not to ignore me anymore.

Now, it's just up to him. Would he fulfil his promise? I'm confused too. I'm just hoping he could just fulfil one of his promises. I don't dare to ask or hope much anymore. Promises make people hope with misery.