I'm Retired!!!

I'M RETIRED!!!



finally...no more duty call...haha
i'm finally retired from prefectorial board...(so long everybody)
hmmm...went for meeting today....was heart broken to find him ignoring me....sigh...(*laine, u gotta be strong!!!)
i'm confused over my feelings now...i wonder he know what am i thinking now? for one thing, secret relationship sucks...
he didn't reply my message...might be he's bored over me already...fine...feel like crying somehow...i hate to fake myself,but i dun have a choice...
feeling like going back to my bad habit...stopping myself to do it was hard...but, the hurt in me, i need something to cover it up..but, the cut might be no use anymore..cause i heart hurt more than the hurt that the cut gave me..
looking at the scissors that 'brighten' up my day really making me even more tense...i start to recall the time i start cutting myself...it was when i'm in form3. after a mojor breakup, i hate myself even more...but, thanks to my friends, i stop...but not for long...
i still cut myself, but without their knowledge...i doesn't want them to be worried about me...well, taurians are stubborn...if not bcause maine started blaming herself when i cut myself, i won't be telling her about my secret...but, i really can't stand the pain in me...
i guess i better throw myself away from my phone...i keep looking for a reply from him...i guess sleeping now might work...taking me away from this world first...
well, update soon...bb~