Hectic Day

Today, i go around chow kit to search for the pants that are needed for the marching...but then, i found one and only pants that suit the team...it costs 38rm and comes with a coat, something like that...haih...

why can't they just cooperate?by just having me and kiat shi working on the team won't work...i felt so tired, carrying a big burden and responsibility on my back...why cant the god at least stop playing games with us?first, we can't train in school...after finally managed to find a place to train, the next problem arise...the athlete unable to help us make enough shirts for the team..i have to admit, it's our fault for not ordering for the ajk...we totally forgotten bout it already..haih...
now, we are in shortage of money cause the clothes are far too much to bear...members start to quit cause they don't have the interest to march together..i can sense the spirit to enjoy themselves in marching but, edward just ruin my mood...his message crush my heart,making me wanna cry...he says...~

since we all already lost the spirit to win anyway

haha funny.you mean the spirit to play?whatever you all will understand soon.

his words cut through my heart deeply...how i wish we could win the game,but i really doesn't have the strength to do it..i want to cry but i stop myself...i tell myself, "it's time for u to work out, get hold of stuff..you can't count on others anymore...it's time to grow up, get set and go."

i have to be strong!!that's what i tell myself everyday...i hope we really can make it through this year...i can sense that something more terrible will come now...my health is actually getting worse by days...but, i can't let it stand on my way...i go around begging people for chance, and when i think back, i can't find anything to be proud of...i have this marching spirit in me...but why cant the others have it with them too?i want blue house 'maruah' back...i don't want to be looked down anymore...i know i can do nothing bout it,but, i just want everybody to make some difference...

i feel like giving up but i know we can't..i don't know how to settle everything now...feel like committing suicide now...haih...