dark

i was alright throughout the day. i had tried turning my concentration on my sketch book, the only thing i can released myself now. i tried to ignore all those voices around me by plugging in the earphone with super loud voice. i tried to read all the single lines the music rang. i really thought im okay.


in the evening, i recieved a call from jason and eventually hang up. i smsed him back at 8 sth and realised he broke up with maine. or, more specific, maine broke up with him. i called maine and realise, we both are in the same shoe. no matter how much i try to concentrate, my head flew back to us. i tried to control my tears. i got to do it. i've been stop crying since yesterday. i cant break it.


foods, movie, online...i did everything...and, just the moment im all alone in the room and it's dark, the pain came back. the vision came haunting me. his pm was hurting. everything, it's like a needle through my heart. not only one but thousands and millions of it. i wanted to stop the pain...i wanted to look for my scissors and returned back to the darn habit. honestly...im still searching for it. wishing i can somehow found it.


i started to fear the night...it's scary and the silence...it's killing me...the pain...
my tears..i just cant control it...it's flooding in me...