hmmmmm

hmmm......about time to update...i was studying actually but, i just decided to write something for a moment...so-called self release...
tomorrow exam and i was half way there...ok...maybe half way to half way...but, whatever!! im not the study type of person so, its a miracle that i actually read through all the web contents! hmmmm
received call from my cousin from penang and she was throwing questions about my relationship stuff. well, she's not the first one actually. she was right. i just have to face it.i cant hide it forever. she was thinking of breaking up as well.well, to say, we both share the same problem...almost i guess...


im trying to heal. really am.. i wanted to delete all the messages, our promise, our love but im always stuck there..i cant do it. i try to distract myself but it just wont work. what the hell was wrong with me? i keep telling myself, he's not ur first guy! you got into so many rship before and u can just put it on rest easily. but why cant i do it now? well, an answer to my thought. he's the first guy i love till the bottom of my heart. whenever i saw the word ITALY and HOLLAND, i thought of our memories. 
i praised myself for not crying that frequent anymore. i felt a little proud for it. girl, you are stepping out of it. 

someone told me that i was the only person he trust to tell out all his secret and things he was doing without anyone knows. before these periods, i will be very proud and happy to hear it, but, i dont. i feel like a failure cause, i dont have the strong will to listen and share.i was hanging on myself rather than anything.