stop the pain

STOP TREATING ME THAT GOOD! i just totally dont deserve it! ITALY and HOLLAND are not meant on me! im hurting deeply when u tried to pretend happy, im hurting badly when i could not bring myself for you and im just hurting badly for not able to give you back what you want.
just give me the damn lifeless heart. let me have a soul and not a heart. let me endure numbness rather than pain. hurt me rather than helping me. kill me, rather than spare me. 
its hurt when seeing your message. and, it kills when i just cant move my hand to press the DELETE button. what the heck is wrong with me?!