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Study Study Study

Study Study Study












has been doing lots of revision lately...
i start to be hardworking (*really la!!*) eversince i heard that PMR are using the reserved paper...
means, it going to be hard and tricky...
gosh...i hate to think of the possibility that SPM will be using the reseved paper as well...

Reminiscent Of Love

Reminiscent Of Love

Female version

 

I never regretted meeting Akhmal. He brightened up my life and showed me what love really was. I never lead such a beautiful life before. I wanted Akhmal forever but somehow, I got to face the truth. Both of us are from two different worlds.

Being the only child, my parents would not give many opinions when I told them about Akhmal. I knew that they were heartbroken although they didn't voice it out. They knew what I was doing and they were confident with my decision.

But, on the other hand, Akhmal had a great argument with his family. Being a traditional family, they strictly object our relationship. Akhmal even ran away from home after that massive argument. I advised him to return to his family and surprisingly he listened to me.

I had sleepless night thinking what I should do. I wanted to be with him badly and I'm aware that I had to convert into Muslim if I were to be with him. I have to sacrifice the relationship I had with my family. Besides that, Akhmal's family will discriminate us and Akhmal will never have peace at home.

Weeks after Akhmal returned home, I called him and we had lunch at a hotel. I tried to act as normal as I could. This was the last outing and dinner I had with Akhmal.

After we finished our lunch, I looked at him, deep into his brownish eyes. He stared back at me with his warm smile that was killing me. Deep inside, I tried to control the tears forming at my eyes. I knew that I couldn't stand it any longer, thus I said, "Akhmal, we need to make things right."

He looked at me, waiting for more. I inhaled and slowly exhaled. "I don't think we should continue meeting like this. We'll loose our families if we continue going out."

"Carmen," he called my name. I couldn't respond and I looked away.

He grabbed my hand and called my name again. "Carmen looked at me."

I slowly turned my head back to face him. He said, "Carmen, I'm willing to sacrifice everything that I have right now for you. I can sacrifice my family and convert my religious."

Before he could continue, I said, "No! Akhmal, don't even think about it."

"They are your family. If you leave them, I'll hate you."

I can see that he's loosing his patience. "Akhmal," I said. "I don't want to hurt my family either. I've been having many sleepless nights thinking of what had lead us to this. I'm not happy anymore."

Akhmal looked away. I knew that he was trying to hide his tears away. Something in me warned myself to end this faster before I loose my courage.

"I'm leaving Malaysia. I got a scholarship to continue my studies in Australia."

He turned to look at me with shock. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

"I'm going with you," said Akhmal.

I stared at him and said, "No. You're staying. Akhmal, don't you get it? I want to leave you, leave everything behind and start anew. I want to be happy again. I got enough misery here. I'm sorry Akhmal, but, this is it. It's the end of our story."

I stood up and left the place. Tears rolled down my eyes. Suddenly, I felt two warm hands hugging me from the back around my shoulders. Without looking back, I knew it was him. I'm positive that he was crying. I could hear his sobbing. "Please, Carmen please. Don't leave me."

I refused to look back. I closed my eyes as I cruelly remove his hands away from me and walked out of the hotel. My heart ache badly but doing so was the best decision for both of us.

 

 

10 years later~

I managed to start anew and found a companion. I returned to Malaysia with him, Andrew. I never saw Akhmal again ever since I left him at the hotel.

 

It's during mega sales when Andrew decided to bring me out. We went to Mid Valley and walked around. The place was fully crowded with people. Something caught my attention and I squat down to have a closer look on it.

I was shocked when a little Malay boy knocked me. I helped him up and I heard someone apologising. The voice sounds familiar and I looked up.

I thought I was dreaming when I saw Akhmal there. We looked into each other's eyes like how we looked at each other 10 years ago.

I stood up and said, "It's alright."

He smiled and looked at Andrew. I saw his new family besides him. His wife gave him a signal and he just walked past me.

The moment he left my sight, I felt a sudden pang of sadness and at the same time, relieved. I grabbed tightly on Andrew's hand and looked deeply at him. Without another word, I hugged him tightly with my eyes filled with tears.

 

 

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

*Copyright Reserved*

**this story originated from Carmen's dream. I only helped to write it down and do a little bit of modification**

***special thanks to Alex and Maine for helping me with my bad grammar***

****gratefully thanks to people who read it and your comment****

My Leftover Life

My Leftover Life







~i took it in McD on a outing with chelle~



I've been leaving behind my blog quite empty recently...
like what i said to chelle, i think i'm gonna be a lazy blogger now...
gosh~
well, i guess this is the right time to give a little update about what's going on with me recently...




i guess i'm gonna turn emo...
sobs...
i dun1 to be emo...
but, too many stuff happen to me recently and i just cant relax myself...
well, alex and maine sure know well that i've been running around the school eversince the school reopens...
i wonder why is there so much to do yet, so little time to complete...


gosh~
i did badly in exam...
i guess i got to work even harder this time...
SPM is coming nearer...


Sigh...
it's mid-autumn festival, yet, i'm alone for dinner this year...
the whole family got food poisoning except me..
i cooked rice for myself with sweet and sour pork that my mom asked her friend to dapao for me...


btw, i don't know who's that misterious guy who lend me his history text book
but, anyway...real thanks to him...
i got suspected a guy...
i think he's the one i guess...

Happy Mooncake Festival

Happy Mooncake Festival








Yeah~
it's mooncake festival...
and all i think of is mooncake mooncake and more mooncake...
Although this year celebration wasn't really like how it should be cause almost everyone is sick...
still, i'm still here celebrating it wof myself...
tralalala

Virus

Virus


A part of me feels that my computer got infected by virus
bad?
not at all...
cause the worse part is that my computer have no antivirus...
dang...
how i feel wanted to throw this stupid machine away...
gah~


BTW!!!
i got back my phone...