Gonna Stop Blogging

well, this might be the last post...but, don't worry...i will update soon after sports day...by that time, i guess i will be more free and stress-free...haha...i know...spm haven't over yet...DON'T REMIND ME OF IT!!!
i don't know how and where to start...but, let it be history...i don't want to talk bout it...by the way, i got something to point it out...i'm not crying!!!my tears will eventually come to me when i'm facing pressure and stress, or even in an arguement and mad...well, don't ask me why...i inherit it from my mom...xD
i know, seeing me with tears annoy people, but,i didn't mean to get your symphaty from it...whatever happen today, i apologise again...i shouldn't have call you guys to enter the field...if i just keep my bloody mouth shut,everything won't happen...ws, i know you are reading it...i just hope you will let it drop out of your mind and be like last time...i don't mean that i enjoy being slap by you...well, just take it as i'm selfish...i want memories...i want something nice, sweet, memorable to be lingered around my head...i know you still mad...i can feel it and i even proove it to myself...anyhow, i'm sorry...
and, michelle, if you happen to say, "i just don't get what you are thinking", "who you like actually?", well it's not gonna be him...
i admit falling to that heartless guy...what can i do..both of us have made a promise...i don't want to break it and ended like last year...i regret for not being strong which later hurt both of us...i'm afraid he might break his promise...i appreciate every single message he sent to me cause i know, after sending it, it will took at least one month till he finally reply me back..but, i just don't get it! where is he when i need him? i'm always there to reply him, even my phone got out of credit, i still find a way to accompany him..it had been a year eversince i meet him when he came back and take his results...every single details of him still stuck in my mind...i feel like going away, but, i can't control my feelings...i know i'm naive and i don;t know what to do about it...
lol...i should stop writting bout him...it will take my days to actually finish writting it...silly me...
that's all...

Busy Week

gone to mv after marching during monday...you just can't believe how much fun we have...everthing gone wild, especially during bowling...i admit i'm not good at it but, someone is worse than me...zheng teng make something that make us laugh non-stop...haha...

i don't have much to talk bout..if only my memory can write...haha...well, i took some pictures of us together...aw, isn't it sweet?

*PIAk!! what am i thinking??haha

the whole group of boys...

me in the centre!!

me and zheng teng...(The guy who are able to make the ball bounced off from the right side to the left)

min yang, me and win yoong

me and wai seng

me, wai seng and zheng teng

the three musketeers(i take it during playing bowling)

me and yu xiang

yu xiang, me an eu gene

hmm...we have fun and i'm actually looking forward for more...XD

Hectic Day

Today, i go around chow kit to search for the pants that are needed for the marching...but then, i found one and only pants that suit the team...it costs 38rm and comes with a coat, something like that...haih...

why can't they just cooperate?by just having me and kiat shi working on the team won't work...i felt so tired, carrying a big burden and responsibility on my back...why cant the god at least stop playing games with us?first, we can't train in school...after finally managed to find a place to train, the next problem arise...the athlete unable to help us make enough shirts for the team..i have to admit, it's our fault for not ordering for the ajk...we totally forgotten bout it already..haih...
now, we are in shortage of money cause the clothes are far too much to bear...members start to quit cause they don't have the interest to march together..i can sense the spirit to enjoy themselves in marching but, edward just ruin my mood...his message crush my heart,making me wanna cry...he says...~

since we all already lost the spirit to win anyway

haha funny.you mean the spirit to play?whatever you all will understand soon.

his words cut through my heart deeply...how i wish we could win the game,but i really doesn't have the strength to do it..i want to cry but i stop myself...i tell myself, "it's time for u to work out, get hold of stuff..you can't count on others anymore...it's time to grow up, get set and go."

i have to be strong!!that's what i tell myself everyday...i hope we really can make it through this year...i can sense that something more terrible will come now...my health is actually getting worse by days...but, i can't let it stand on my way...i go around begging people for chance, and when i think back, i can't find anything to be proud of...i have this marching spirit in me...but why cant the others have it with them too?i want blue house 'maruah' back...i don't want to be looked down anymore...i know i can do nothing bout it,but, i just want everybody to make some difference...

i feel like giving up but i know we can't..i don't know how to settle everything now...feel like committing suicide now...haih...

~^o.O^~ Leave Me Alone!! ~^O.o^~

Damn it!!

My head started to go against me again...y cant it just leave me alone?

well, for those who are still blur with what i'm talking about, den let me tell u...

last year, my head got knocked on my bookshelf and eversince then, it started to torture me with giving me pain that ones cant stand..well, at first my dad thought it's a migrain and thank god, the doctor say it's not...

then, i started taking medication that were given by an indian doctor...according to her, it's a traditional medicine...wow..

i thought everything went back to normal when the devil in my head does not attack me anymore...well, recently when the school reopen, the devil return again, causing me to visit the hospital during CNY!! oh gosh...

well, now that my medicine already finish, and my head keep torturing me, i can hardly concentrate doing stuff...damn it...can't that damn devil leave me alone??

whatsover it is, i don't care anymore...my dad will drag me to that doctor again this sun...gosh...where should i hide??should i lie to them so that i wont have to go there? T.T

hmm...i don't have much thing to say here..

oh ya...SPM results are coming out this thursday!!

Yea...can see my bro already...miss him so much!!!

but, too bad...i'm having exam by that time...lol

maybe asked him to fetch me back instead...haha...

Topic of the Week...~Homosexual~

reading this title might make u guys in terrible shock rite?you might be asking, what goes into my head this time...well,actually, i came across this topic recently...people asking me what i think bout homo(shortcut for homosexual)...the idea of it are from zheng teng and chee yong and of course a bunch of silly friends...

homosexual

meant a person like or show interest towards people with the same gender

they are actually normal but only different with their interest towards gender

people all around discriminate them just because they have this interest

AND I HATE THOSE PEOPLE

my experience

i have to admit that i'm once a homo too...i got those interest towards girls but, i never tell because i'm afraid to be kick out from my family and friends...the feeling being homo is actually the same feeling when u like a guy...the only differences are the person gender...well, i pity those who are a homo and being kick out of the society..so what if they are homo?they are still human right?i kept the homo thing in me and i just pretend to be nothing..now, of course i'm homo no more...i like guys now..but, i'm still surround with homo but i intend not to tell who and keep it to myself...i want them to lead their peacefull life..not life with the feeling threatened and different...i hate the reaction of those who say,"he's/she's a homo?yucks..." honestly if i were given a right, i will slap them at their face and say,"so what?he/she is still normal!"

i don't think being a homo is something like the world is coming to the end...it not like they will eat you up or swallow you whole...they just are......normal.

you?

people are different...like one malay peribahasa say,"rambut sama-sama hitam,hati lain-lain"...people are different at heart, but, they are the same like normal people...so what if they are homo people?just mind your own business...do what you need to do and just scram off...if you want to make friends, lead a happy life, just do it...don't descriminate them...they are people lik you and they too wants a happy no worry life...

so,

just do our part and make them feel normal...the homo thing will wear off when people started to grow up and started to be mature...of course some last forever...because their partner are their true love...~